THINGS YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY AT WORK

1. And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...?


2. Do I look like a people person?


3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.


4. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.


5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.


6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?


7. You! ... Off my planet!
   

8. Does your train of thought have a caboose?


9. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.


10. A PBS mind in an MTV world.


11. Allow me to introduce myselves...


12. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.


13. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.


14. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.


15. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.


16. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.


17. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.


18. Stress is when you wake up screaming and

you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

19. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?


20. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.


21. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.


22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?


23. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.


24. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.


25. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet its hard to pronounce.


26. I’ll pencil that in for never. Does never work for you?


27. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.


28. Ahhh … I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.


29. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.


30. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you are an artist.

© Tina's Prayer Gate
July 14, 2012