Did I read that right?

Toilet out of order.
Please use floor below

In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines:
please remove all your clothes when the light goes out

In a London Department Store:
Bargain Basement Upstairs

In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please bring it back or further steps will be taken

In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot
and stand upside down on the draining board

Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc.
Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness

Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car

Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it,
there is a day care on the 1st floor

Notice in a farmer's field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free,
but the bull charges.

Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read,
this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons

On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything.
(Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter:huh?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
it may last a while

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charges

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery;
Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?